Tony skinner
Hi, and welcome to the latest podcast from podcastmybusiness.com.au And today we have Anne Mckeown from anne m c k e o w n.com And we’re having a chat about how to cope with change, which is pretty relevant at the moment
Anne
Yeah, just a bit. And well, thanks, Tony. Thanks for having me on here with you. And I really appreciate the opportunity to share it and I feel like now is the time when we should share our skills with those that need help.
Tony skinner
Absolutely. And I guess you know, okay, we’ll just touch on it very briefly The Event, that’s all I call it. in years to come. People will listen to this and again, when I talk about they’ll know the event. So look this, this is a huge event. I mean in a financially it’s a huge thing but I think psychologically is really where it starts. I mean, you start off with being angry, concerned upset everything. What’s the best strategy to cope with that?
Anne
Yeah, you’re right it’s it is changing even with this time and people have got change going on in the lives all the time. I think we just don’t see it on mass like this usually. People go through divorce or the have a change of job or a new baby or a new house or and all of these things cause a cause of stress in our life. And the main thing for people to understand is that it all comes from our mindset.
And so that’s the one thing that I love to work with clients on is how to shift domain statement and it’s easy to be told or you must do this. Am I But then the question is how do we do it and that’s where I come in using techniques where we can actually shift the mindset and learning the difference between the conscious and the unconscious mind is really important because a lot of the time we live from an emotional unconscious basis and then we wonder why things have turned out the way they have. We try and will things to be a certain way and or user a willpower, but what most people don’t know is that we also have wont power which means I wont to do it in which case subconsciously, sabotaging ourselves.
Tony skinner
So when I start screaming and yelling and get upset, is that my unconscious or conscious mind?
Anne
Yeah, no, that’s the unconscious mind. So basically, you’re it’s all patterns and triggers, and that are being called up on a way to that you normally react and it’s basically the mains way of keeping me safe. So in the days when we had to keep ourselves safe from real big fates, and like a saber toothed Tiger coming into the cave, and but the difference now is that we have the same reactions just because we missed the bus or, and we missed a phone call or and so it’s being able to see when we’re being irrational and recognizing patterns and being able to bring the conscious mind into see to the unconscious, you can relax. I’ve got control of this.
Tony skinner
So as part of that strategy, prioritizing.
Anne
Yes. And I think the the first thing is awareness, really it’s knowing and why did I react in the way that I did, and being able to understand the difference between the two parts of the main So basically, the unconscious mind is the part that runs the body, it stores your memories, and it makes associations to things that have happened in the past. So even things like breathing, we believe without thinking, the blood pumps through our body in our veins without thinking our heart beats without thinking.
These are all run by the unconscious mind. So our memories and our emotions and and it’s actually the domain of our emotion. Whereas the conscious mind is like the decision maker.
It’s subjective, it’s the thinking part of the mind. And one very interesting thing I’d like to share is that it can only hold one thought at a time so you cannot actually be happy and sad at the same time. And so when you’re in one, it means that you’re choosing to listen to the emotional side and not choose the other. And it identifies all the processes all the information that comes in through the senses, you know, our sight and our sight, sound and smell and one of the ways that we can help to calm the mind is by you Using our senses, so we can use the body to impact the mind. And we can use the mind to impact the body. And I don’t know if you’ve ever realize this, but people with depression often when they go to see a GP, they’ll first thing they’ll recommend is that they go and get exercise that they get out in fresh air and get the body moving, getting endorphins released, because all of that helps the main set to shift.
Tony skinner
And I think at the moment, that’s really, really important, because exercise is one of the few excuses you can get out. But while you’re out, you can get your morning coffee.
Anne
Yes. Oh, yes, we’re ready to be with her morning coffee. If you’re like me, and you like sugar, as well, and
Tony skinner
you know, there’s various ways of improving the mood and if a little bit of coffee, and a little bit of sugar helps you to do that, then there’s nothing wrong with that, like everything, not to excess. But yeah, exercise is really, really critical. I mean, for example, I go to the gym. I do weights im no longer able to do that I’m finding it a bit of a challenge. But I’ve implemented adding more walks, unfortunately, i didnt get to buy any weights. So I’m gonna have to do that soon and whatever. But it’s a perfectly normal, perfectly natural thing to miss and want to do. Are there any particular strategies to help with that? 
Anne
Yeah, look, I think there’s a certain cycle that we go through as human beings. And one of the things that’s happened with this event, as you call it, is that it’s been a great leveler.
So it doesn’t matter what age you are, what country you live in, how much you’re earning, how pretty you are, it, it just, it will affect whoever it will affect. And it’s the same with our mind. We all have the same brain as human beings. And obviously, we have different experiences and things that have impacted how we see life and how we react to life. But what scientists can tell us is that there’s actually a cycle that we go through and almost have to go Through and to be able to come out at the other side, the thing is each stage, are you going to get stuck? Or are you going to find a way through? So for example, we start off with the conscious mind, which gives us a rational response to things. So the initial responses, we go into shock, you know, how the heck did this happen? Surely not. And often we’re in denial. And I had a bit of this myself, because I was actually overseas in Cuba when countries started to close the borders. And I was thinking all will be great. I’ll be fine in Australia will be fine. I can get home and I didn’t want to cut my holiday short.
And then when the prime minister was seeing all students need to make their way back home, I started to think, okay, I can’t be in denial about this anymore. I need to take action. And so I cut my holiday short and I came home, but the next stages that we then go into this emotional response into the unconscious mind way of looking at things. And often for people that those stages are anger and blame and we start bargaining so and frustrated that we can’t do the things that we want to do anymore, blaming the government for bringing in rules that we had no choice over, because nobody likes change. It leaves us feeling insecure, and particularly if it was changed that we didn’t choose.
And so that’s why I said earlier that can apply to you know, losing your job. And there’s lots of them a ripple effect around this event having happened in our world, there are people that have lost their jobs and salaries and can’t pay mortgages, no and probably damaging relationships. And so we have to look and see, well, I am feeling angry and frustrated about this and maybe I am Blaming the government. And maybe I am bargaining saying, Oh, well, you know, I’m going to go anyway, I’ll be fine. And the real bottom part of this bell curve is apathy. When we get to the stage where we just say, you know what, I don’t care, I’ve lost everything. And I’m starting to feel down and depressed and it’s so with my control, there’s nothing I can do. And that’s the worst place to be. And because, well, it’s the worst place to stay. I think we all go through it. And in the beginning, we saw it lots of people were staying home, they were all starting to watch Netflix, binge watch, you know, we were being told that alcohol sales are going up so people were no beginning to drink at home every night in a way that they really wouldn’t have in the past.
Tony skinner
They’re like buying 2000 rolls of toilet paper.
Anne
Yes. And, and people just saying em ive lost control. And And when we do that, then we’re really in the depths of the emotional response. So we have to be able to shift ourselves out of that. And the first step in doing that is acceptance. It’s seeing, okay, it is what it is. But how can I make the best of this situation? So can you just give a good example where you can still go and jog around the park or walk your dog or have a coffee or, you know, use those simple, small things in life that can lift up your spirit and your end? To give you a sense of being back in control in a way and it’s sort of like, we gain control by letting go. And that seems a bit contrary, but that’s exactly because when we resist things, that’s when we cause ourselves the greatest internal pain, because we’ve got this internal struggle going on. I want to change it, but I can, I’m going to change it.
But I can you know, where as we see, okay, well, but let’s focus on the things that we can change. What parts of my business can I save? What parts of my relationship can I improve? What parts of my financial and things can I focus on? And that takes us on to exploring new ways of doing things. And we’re still in the emotional phase at this point, that sort of, even if it’s a reluctant acceptance, we’re moving forward again, we’re starting to explore ways out the next level is then to be able to understand and I can do this, and I can integrate it into my new normal is, you know, the language that everyone’s using No. And, and so yeah, my performance can go up because I can do work on ln your podcasts are a fantastic example of how people can still work get their message out support their customers. And even though they’re maybe not doing it face to face anymore and how can they integrate fun within the day with the family so they see well I’m going to stop from a lunch odd and we’re going to have a nice family lunch together on the balcony or in the park or and and then how do we sustain that? How do we bring that new learning and those new things into keeping it going so that we can continue to grow as individuals the business can grow the finances can grow family relationships can grow.
Tony skinner
Excellent look, thank you and look, you know, definitely that one about letting go and learning about how to let go. I was everyday there reading the Serenity Prayer. Yeah, you know, and And it helped me to learn. Yeah, look, there’s some things that you can do something about, and you got to learn some things, you can do something about other things. You got to have some acceptance now. So for more information, how can people get in touch with you?
Anne
Well, thanks, Tony. I just love that you said that prayer. It’s one of my favorites, too. And, yeah, look, it’s easy. I’ve just told people what the steps are and what you need to do. But obviously, yes, if you need help with shifting the main set, and some of the techniques that I share, and my website is annemckeown.com And, and my business is called 2mpower, so it’s the number two capital M and then power.co So it’s anne@2mpower.co If you want to email me, I actually offere a free 20 minute session for people and often it goes on longer than that, but just to see whether you aren’t Where do you want to get to and how can you get there and I can help you come up with a plan. So that you’re forward thinking and you’re not stuck, looking at the past, but you’re looking to the future.
Tony skinner
Right. Okay. Well, look, thank you for that. And yeah, let’s all keep looking to the future because it’s bright. It’s awesome. We can make it that way. So, thank you very much for your time.
Anne
Yeah, it’s a choice. Thank you so much. And thank you for the beautiful work that you’re doing at the moment.
Tony skinner
Thank you.
