Tony skinner
Welcome back to Episode Two, with Tony and Jessica from www.JessicaClancyPerserveres.com author of a new book entitled The Quest For Family
Tony skinner
In this second part of the video and podcast, we’re talking about, ignoring nasty comments and social media, how to start the day with gratitude and end up creating your own fan which is a good thing to do.
Tony skinner
If you get an opportunity to do that. Hopefully, you get to create multiple friends as families in your own family. So enjoy the second part, and I hope to hear from all of you soon.
Tony skinner
Another one of your tips. Don’t let others define you, especially with social media. So, especially just young people, but for everybody im social media a lot, and people make nasty comments. So how do you avoid make paying attention on nasty comments?
Jessica
So, I would also relate this to the workplace. Okay? If you’re in a work environment, and people aren’t treating you, right, and I would tell my daughter, the same thing, remove yourself from the elements, right?
Jessica
Just take yourself out from that situation. And don’t focus on it. Are you on social media to be somebody? Are you in social media that helps somebody? Right? So if you’re in there to be somebody, and somebody says a comment, it’s gonna hurt your feelings? Because you’re in there for the wrong reason? Are you?
Jessica
Are you trying to help others by using social media? Are you trying to help yourself, there’s going to be people that are just whether it’s in work, or wherever you go, driving down the road, or on social media, there’s going to be bullies out there, they’re going to be looking to pick on the next person they can take on. So you know, live your life with values and virtues and know who you are, do your healing from inside know who you are, that you don’t have to look to others to find your significance.
Tony skinner
So do you have like a daily exercise that you can do each morning, I get up every morning, I get up. I’m thankful. Yes. For every single day, and I say to people, you know what, every day is a good day, except the day you wake up dead.
Jessica
That’s true. Mine is kind of a weird one. When I’m in the shower, I just kind of the water is pouring over me. And maybe it almost is like emulating the ocean or being in the womb. But I’m very thankful.
Jessica
I’m always like praying and just grateful and recapping on like my life and, you know, facing my day, and like where I am today in my life versus like, where I was and where I could have been and where I could be. I’m just every morning, I’m just very, like you said thankful and grateful. And I’m just really like, full of expression, like in the mornings. And in the shower.
Tony skinner
it’s another tip that I like is also be empathetic.
Jessica
Yes, absolutely. And that was a big part of why I really wanted to share my story, and the things that I have been through because a lot of people may say, oh, that’s rubbish.
Jessica
Like, why would I want to read that or know about that. But so many people, all of us, to some degree have been hurt, or have been misled, or let down or abandoned in some way. And I think to really tap into, if you can read about somebody else, it really helps you reflect on your own life, or to be able identify that and other people. And if you can take a step back and remove yourself from the situation. Why is that person upset? Why are they angry? What has happened to that person, we have no idea what like that person has walked through to get them to where they are and why they are reacting that way, or responding that way, feeling that way.
Jessica
And if we can try to slow down and empathize what they may be going through, then the world would be in a different place.
Tony skinner
Well, that’s true. It reminds me of something that happened years ago. I was driving along and this is during COVID, what have you. And I was driving along. And somebody pulled out from the curb and hit my car pulled straight out when I got out of the car, talking because he was going quick. I’ve got to get to my daughter. I’ve got to get someone out. And obviously something happened.
Tony skinner
Fine, right? Let’s just exchange license details. I’m happy to do it. But it’s what you need to do. You need to calm down. Right? The reason why you pulled out and hit my car is you didn’t look at the reason why you didn’t look is that you’re stressed and panicking about something.
Tony skinner
What is it going to happen between you and getting to where you need to go? So it wasn’t so much about the license about the calm down. And when we get stressed. So what will be some tips to help us to calm down.
Jessica
So one thing that I really do is I listen to music and I listen to it a lot at work, I have the opportunity that I can play Spotify or Pandora on my phone or on my computer. And I really my music is faith-based it really helps calm my anxiety it redirects my mind to where I’m not thinking about maybe the workload or what I have to do, I can kind of just get into a sense of meditation and a groove where I’m just focused, and I’m not worrying about things in that place. And so it helps me to be more mindful on my task and somehow like, I just make it happen. And that’s one thing that really helps me a lot is music, especially music in the workplace.
Tony skinner
Excellent. Okay. Any other tips you’d like to share deal with mental health and be more relaxed and some simple tips.
Jessica
Some simple things, where you definitely have to get rest.
Jessica
Jessica
Because you when you’re not getting proper rest, then you aren’t, you can tend to be more emotional, or you may be more reactive. And you may be running on a short stick, I guess you could say like, and that may not be the person that you are.
Jessica
Jessica
So you’re not able to live your full potential if you’re not getting proper rest, because you may not see things in the best light, and you may not respond in the best light. So in addition to sleeping, what are eating well, sleeping well, you know, relax, like having music to kind of clear your mind and stay focused. I would also say if you can exercise, you don’t have to go to a gym, being outside, I love to be outside, we ride bikes to church, I love to look at the birds in the sky, and hear the sound of water and the trees blowing, being present outside can really be healing for your soul.
Jessica
And there were times when I was in a really dark place in my book, and I would go outside and I would just pray I would go you know, that’s like retention ponds with the fountains, I would just go to something like that close by and sit like on the little slope. And just like meditate on the water and just saved like my prayers and meditate and just really calm my spirit a lot. And it really helped feed into just taking care of me. And just stepping back and removing myself from whatever I was going through. And that really helped me a lot
Tony skinner
Yes, water. I’m not that far from water. Most people in Australia live around the coast.Not massively far from just watching the waves, right. And of course, Texas is famous for its beaches.
Jessica
Yeah, maybe not in the best light like Australia. But yeah, we are famous for a beach you know, I mean, kind of into that, though, when I was younger, and I was in a stressful place when I was working as a hairdresser going to school, not in the best relationships, not making the best choices looking for a place to belong.
Jessica
My girlfriend and I, we would go to the beach a lot, it was just over an hour away. And we were just rollerblade on the seat we had like a seawall like a concrete path. And we would just go and like lay out there and listen to the ocean and hear the seagull it was just very calming and very soothing and healing and you don’t have to have money to do that.
Jessica
And you don’t have to be near water. I mean, if you’re in the mountains, if you have a pond, watching the wind blows the grass, as it waves across like that video is also very just soothing.
Tony skinner
Yeah. Well, it’s definitely you know, always helpful just to take the time and the effort. And I think people forget to put some time aside each day. First thing, last thing, even as simple as when you wake up in the morning, taking two minutes stretching in bed, thinking about things, and getting ready for the day.
Jessica
Yes absolutely. And the other thing I wanted to say too, is if you are able to not everybody is but if you’re able to take time to travel, it can be just a day trip, like you said to the beach, it could be to a local park, it can be to a town three, three hours away. Learning about people and cultures really helps grow your mind. And as you learn about others, you learn more about yourself.
Jessica
And you can also learn I would say like positive habits in a way like trying new foods and understanding people on a different light. And that helps you to be more open to different cultures to different. I mean like here we are Texas and Australia, right? We have different dialects. We have different accents, and we’re coming together as one the world is a small place, you know, you’re helping each other.
Tony skinner
Well Australians are famous for traveling, you can go pretty much anywhere in the world. There’ll be an Australian.
Jessica
And I would agree with that. When I backpacked Europe, I met a lot of Australians who were working overseas.
Tony skinner
Thank you very much, Jessica. I really appreciate that. And if you go to Jessica’s website, and I’ll just get that up. So it’s author of a new book entitled The Quest For Family available at www.JessicaClancyPerserveres.com. And click on buy the book. It’s a great book to read. It helps you understand how you can change your views and your perspectives. create and build something yourself.
Tony skinner
Yeah, build something better because you are born into a family, but you can create your own family and I think everyone should be doing that. Thank you very much, Jessica.
Jessica
Thank you. Thank you for this opportunity, Tony.
